Spirit of Adoption = No Fear

Specific and Urgent Prayer Requests

I received a little more information today from our case worker.  Our birthmom is communicating by email and texts with her birthmother counselor, but does not have any scheduled face-to-face appointments set up for the future.  My sweet case worker will be checking in with us frequently, and she said today that she knows that my heart stops every time she calls.  Knowing that, she will start the conversation with, “She is not in labor yet…..” (Unless she is in labor!)

The following will give you specific language that you may use to pray for our situation:

1)       The birthmom needs to be released of all guilt she is feeling.  She is overridden with guilt and we know that is not from God.

2)      “W” desires to have a clear word from God as to whether or not she is to parent or continue with the adoption plan.  Pray for clarity and “A-knowing”

3)      She desires peace with an assurance that she can either release her child or parent her child.  As of today, she does not have peace one way or the other.

4)      She desires to hear from God at the time of delivery and is desperately hoping for a clear answer at that time.  She is undecided and fearful.  I am praying that she will have an answer, even prior to delivery.

5)      So…..essentially, pray for peace and clarity and above all, PEACE.

6)      Pray for no confusion, no fear, no guilt (again, we know that God is not a God of confusion and she is desperately wanting to hear from Him).

I am personally trying to take myself and Adam out of the picture, and am praying constantly that God will speak to her, and she will have an assurance that He is near her, listening to her, comforting her, speaking to her, loving her and giving her specific and intimate direction at a time that is so incredibly difficult and confusing.  We pray that if it is God’s will that she will have comfort in her decision to select us as parents.  I pray that God will give her a special bond with us (one that passes all  understanding)……

The prayer lists above are words that are taken from “W” and given to us through our case worker and her birthmother counselor.  Please pray for her counselor, Michelle.  I am hopeful that both “W” and Michelle will stay in contact even if it is email or texting in the time leading up to the delivery.  My prayer is that God would speak through Michelle to give her tangible comfort here on earth.

I will keep you updated as we get more specific information.

We covet your prayers at this special time.

Romans 8:15

¹⁵ For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!”

 

Best Birthday Ever……We hope

Adam and I had a message on January 24th to call our adoption case worker the night of Adam’s 34th birthday.  As you recall from the timeline, a birthmother viewed our profile on January 15th.  So much time has passed, that I was sure this profile showing was not our match.  We had very little information about the expectant mother when we first got the call, but neither of us had any reservations about being shown.  Strange, since we had passed on several in December.  The day before the showing, we received a bit more information, which further validated our desire to be shown to her.  Well— “Happy Birthday!!!!!!! maybe”…….. was the beginning of our phone conversation with our case worker.  We had her on speaker phone and we were siting down for the news.  Drum roll….

She has PICKED US!  “W” has picked us!!!!  That news was the best birthday gift EVER!….. BUT, the birthmom is not solid on her commitment to go through with her adoption plan.  She wants to have her baby, and make the decision to parent or allow us the gift of parenting on the day of delivery.  So, February 9th is the due date.  We could potentially be parents in 2 weeks.  Please join us in prayer as “W” makes her decision.  We have been in constant prayer since Thursday, and now we ask for our family, friends, and followers of our blog to join us in prayer.  If we get the call, it will be the day of the delivery, and we will drop everything and go.  We are not going to be there for labor, only after delivery.  “W” desires us to take the baby straight from the hospital and “W” and her husband will sign the release papers.  In the state of Alabama, we will have to wait 5 days until we can  cross state lines.  There are so many details that I wish I could share, however like Mary (Jesus’ mother), we are pondering all these things in our hearts and will be able to share more if God allows.

Pastor John spoke about the sacredness and sanctity of life this morning in the church service.  It is the 40th anniversary of Roe v Wade.  I teared up thinking of how tremendously brave “W” is and how I pray that Jesus will be near her as she makes this decision.  I am so proud of her for carrying this baby all the way to life.  Thank you Jesus for her strength, courage, and determination.  May you speak to her and give her the answer she needs in this terribly conflicting time in her life.  I cannot even imagine.  Lord, give us all peace.  Guard our hearts and continue to speak to us while we anxiously await what will occur in the next 2 weeks (or sooner).  My heart is heavy and happy at the same time.  Count it all joy!!!!!

Count it all joy

I saw that my husband complimented someone the other day for standing up for what they believed in.  He said, “Count it all joy, and suffer well.”  My sweet husband is so wise.

James 1:2-4

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, ³ for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. ⁴ And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

We traveled to Charlotte, NC this past weekend for Adam’s orientation day at Gordon Conwell Theological Seminary.  His classes start the second week in February. We drove up on that Friday and found the campus building first, then we found a hotel.  He had an awesome day and met so many people including some of his professors.  I present to you (picture below), Adam getting ready for his “first day of school”—I made sure he took his coat, got his backpack, gave him drink money, drove him, and told him “even though you don’t know anyone, you are going to make long-lasting friends today, so don’t be nervous.”  It was hysterical!  Check out his “anxious 1st day of school pictures”

First Day of School

First Day of School Jitters

Gordon Conwell Theological Seminary Charlotte

Open Door Nursery

As promised, while asking for God’s favor, I have opened the nursery door, with a baby gate to keep the pups out.

Totally off the subject of adoption:  Warby Parker Eyewear.  For our anniversary, Adam bought me a pair.  My new pair:  Name: Fitz and Color:  Blonde Tortoise.  If you buy a pair, they give a pair to someone in need.  How cool is that!  You must check out these hipster specs.  One flat price, send in your prescription, and ships to your house.  You can do a free trial to see which ones you want to purchase.

http://www.warbyparker.com

We had a birthmom looking at our profile on Tuesday, the 15th.  It does seem like a special profile, but here I am with open hands………Count if all Joy!

For those that have suffered a loss with a miscarriage, here is a video that I hope brings you some comfort.

“God you can take this too, if it brings you joy………..”

One Year Anniversary

On December 31, 2012, we celebrated our one year anniversary of starting the adoption process:   Here is a snapshot…….

One Year Anniversary Timeline

It is hard to believe that it has been a year!  2013 is going to be an amazing year!  I just know it.  Thank you for your prayers!

You can give me virtual high fives after reading this post!

On the way home from work today, I received an update from my adoption agency:

“Dear families, We are very excited about the recent news that Congress has extended the Adoption Tax Credit. According to a media release from the National Council for Adoption, Congress passed the American Taxpayer Relief Act which will become law once signed by President Obama. Included in this act was an extension of the adoption tax credit. Our Executive Director Herbie Newell sees the extension of the adoption tax credit as a victory for vulnerable children around the world: “While I certainly cannot speak for the entire ‘Fiscal Cliff’ bill that was signed into law by President Obama, the portion pertaining to the adoption tax credit was a huge victory for vulnerable children around the world and those American families called to provide them families. This piece of the legislation was organized by a truly grassroots campaign aimed at simply extending the adoption tax credit. The measure to make it permanent assures that foster children, orphans, and vulnerable children will have one barrier to a home, finances, alleviated.” Complete details of implementation of the bill are still to be seen, said the release, but the bill permanently extends the adoption tax credit currently set at $10,000. However, the amount may again be scaled for inflation, bringing it closer to the 2012 amount of $12,650. Families whose incomes fall under $150,000 will receive the full credit, and the credit will gradually phase out for families with higher incomes. We are thrilled to share this news with you and hope you have a wonderful end to your week!”

I leave you with some strong words from the Christian rapper Lecrae, “God is not bothered by your persistence. Keep asking.”  (see……I am continuing to pray for Favor.)

Ladies, get the tissues prior to viewing.  Ah-mazing!

Favor

Celebrating Jesus’ birth……

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,
“Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.” Luke 2:13-14

I have procrastinated somewhat in revealing what has been on my heart during this month.  So much has happened inside the world of adoption and outside the world of adoption.  I have been thinking about the word “favor” and unpacking what this means both in “earthly” and “spiritual” terms.   Additionally, I have been intentionally searching for “favor” in tangible ways.  Really to me, “favor” is when I see or say, “That was a God thing.”  So, let’s define “favor” as revealed by Webster:  (1) friendly regard shown toward another especially by a superior (2) : approving consideration or attention (3) gracious kindness.

The amount of favor revealed to me this month, has been overwhelming and intimate.

Synonyms for “Favor”: benevolence, boon, courtesy, grace, indulgence, kindness, mercy, service, turn

It has been a heavy month.  My Aunt Betty (mom’s sister) died in hospice at 4:30 AM on December 15th of liver failure and other complications.

Betty Ann

It was a difficult thing to watch and comprehend.  My precious mother did not leave her side except when we told her that she needed to sleep at our house every night and be home before dark in order to take care of herself during such a draining time.  We said our good-byes at Hospice since there was no memorial service, as per Betty’s wishes.  We also moved most of her belonging out of her house within the week she died, per her husband’s wishes.  We spent a week going through clothes, old photos etc. Such heaviness.  My most priced possession that I received from my aunt’s estate (courtesy of my mom) was a locket she had.  I opened the locket and there was a picture of me when I was a little baby, and the other side remains empty.  I will be sure to put a picture of our miracle baby on the other side, once we receive our gift!

Betty’s locket (with my baby picture)

The “favor” I witnessed through my aunt’s death was God’s mercy in the way she died.  She died peacefully, and in the hands of lovely servants at the hospice facility.  She was such a private person, and I believe she waited for a time that mom was not there in order to pass.  I also witnessed God’s hands in the way this brought our family closer together.  My aunt’s life story was one that was pretty tragic.  Her self-worth and value were the lowest of anyone I have ever met, yet God never gave up on her.  His favor rests on his beloved daughter, Betty Ann.

During my adoption journey, many have said to me, “I am praying that God gives you ‘favor’ with  bringing you a child.”  I know that many people pray that way.  They claim God’s “favor” even though something hasn’t happened yet.  Well, I have always struggled with hearing that phrase.  No disrespect to those that say this.  I clearly do not deserve anything, much less “favor,” in the sense of defining what that is or means.  I always felt that if I prayed for God’s “favor” I was being pretty arrogant.  I always get a little freaked out by the “claim-it, it-is-yours” type gospel-preaching.  Ultimately, God’s will is not always mine.  I do believe in God revealing promises to me, however I feel like when you “claim it”—in a sense you are ushering yourself up a bit ‘higher’ than the all-knowing, creator God.  Seems a bit arrogant that I would know what is best for my life.  All that being said, God has been working on my heart this Christmas.  Seems like the word, “favor” has jumped out at me all Christmas long.  The holy spirit has given me this word to think about, my pastor preached about it, and it has popped up in a bunch of things I have been reading……even in Christmas carols (for Heaven’s sake!).  Okay, I get it.  I needed to reflect on what “favor” means.  Now, my perspective of “favor” is a bit different.  Beginning this new year, I will be specifically asking for God’s favor in bringing us a child.  Yes, I will use the word “favor”—-To have “favor” is a beautiful thing.  Many times in scripture, individuals had favor with God.  They humbled themselves, and God did show favor to those he loved.  Well,  I am pretty sure that God can see, hear, and read my heart.  I want for God to say, “good and faithful servant” and “you are favored”……yes, I want to be God’s favorite.  He is BIG enough to have tons of favorites, and yet, he is intimate in the way he loves us.  I think about parents that have multiple children…..they have multiple favorites.  They love them all!  Our heavenly Father loves us too—we are one of many of his adopted children.  He has enough love for us ALL!

Galatians 4:4-5

But when the right time came, God sent His Son, born of a woman, subject to the law. God sent Him to buy freedom for us who were slaves to the law, so that He could adopt us as His very own children.

The year, 2013, is going to be a tremendously lovely year.  I just know it.  I went into the nursery this morning and decided that I will no longer close the door but OPEN it.  I put a doggie gate up so that the dogs will stay out, BUT that door is open.  I am praying for God’s favor, and I don’t feel like it is arrogant.  Rather it is an act of anticipation of His promises.  See, I am really going out-side-of-my-box.

Oh, and for those wanting to know an update about our adoption journey:  This month we passed on 3 profiles.  It has been the month of passing.  It is hard to believe that we have not passed on a profile showing this whole time, yet December has been the “passing month.”  Believe me, it is hard to pass on a showing, however if one of us has reservations, we honor each other in that decision.  The first one, we both had reservations.  The second one, I had reservations.  The third one, Adam had reservations.  Yet, through all the birthmothers we did not “meet” there is ONE birthmom that is viewing our profile over the holidays!! She will make her decision after the holidays.  So, as we pray for God’s favor, please join us in praying for birthmother “C” (seems like all the gal names start with the letter “C”) and let’s see what God does!

Attached are pictures of our Youth Christmas party (we went ice skating), Christmas pictures….oh, and we had our 9th wedding anniversary on the 20th!  So blessed and God has shown me favor beyond my comprehension!

Merry Christmas 2012

Momma Glo opening gifts! Missing her after her month stay!

Always a kid at heart! Loves action figures!

Niece Abby and Aunt Jennifer (wearing my aunt’s locket)

Youth Christmas Party–Ice Skating 2012

Austin and I

Rachel (UGA student/former youth member) and I

Skating with the Ladies

“No” still means “Yes”

I wanted to post a quick update that we heard from our agency on Monday night that birthmom “C” selected the other couple.  Additionally, we got a call from the agency about an emergency situation during the day on Monday.  A 13-year old (Birthmom “A”) already had her baby on the 24th, and the baby would need a home this Friday.  Our profile was shown during the day on Monday, and we also found out Monday night that she selected another family.   So, two “no’s” in one day.  It was pretty obvious the door with Birthmom “C” was shutting.  Deep down I was not surprised.  We had to cancel our visits with “C” on several occasions when I got that nasty flu.  I am now thankful we did not drive all the way to Alabama for a face-to-face meeting.  God really protected our hearts with this one.

I have been thinking………God’s no’s in these two situations are still God’s yes’.  We have been given a promise that we will be parents.  So when you think about it, there is still a “yes” out there.  So every “no” answer still leads to “yes.”

Also, please pray for our family (especially my mom) as we deal with my beautiful aunt and the few days she has left here on earth with us.  We transported her to a hospice facility on Monday from her one night stay (post hospital) at her home.  Her liver is failing and since she is not eating or drinking, we think the Lord will take her any day now.

I am rest assured that my aunt will be with Jesus soon.  That gives me comfort.

Thank you for the prayers, texts, and emails during the wait for “C” to make her decision.  I am forever grateful for all the people who are truly involved in our adoption journey and the support each of you give to us.  The emergency placement call on Monday was a reminder that this could happen at any time.

Letter of Acceptance

The web conference was amazing. First of all, I cannot express in words how courageous this birthmom is and her positive attitude is beautiful to witness. She is carrying this baby, knowing that she will be saying goodbye to the child after birth. What a tremendously brave and loving person. The fact that she chose life for this child is so honoring to God. There is no greater love. That being said, it is abundantly clear that God has been working behind the scenes and in front of the scenes in this scenario. We had to cancel our face-to-face meeting on three occasions and this birthmom and her parents never gave up on meeting us. With all the canceling and feeling so bad with the flu, I was really numb about the whole thing. I was so exhausted on Monday after putting in a full day’s work (first day back post-flu), that it was hard to even get excited about the web conference. I told my colleagues at work, that I felt like we were just getting a “courtesy” meeting since we had cancelled so much. God knew that I would have the flu, and that the end result would be a web conference. Boy was I wrong about the “courtesy” thing. They genuinely did not want to make a decision until they met us since the birthmom fell in love with our profile. She said that we met every single criterion she wanted in adoptive parents. I am just so thankful they did not give up on us. We decided to have the “footage” of the web conference taken in the nursery. I wanted the birthmom “C” to see the beautiful nursery and all the hard work we had put into making it a perfect place for our child to sleep. Plus, since we didn’t get the opportunity to meet face-to-face, at least they could veer into our lives a bit by seeing the nursery. The web conference lasted for about an hour and 45 minutes. Again, we did not want to end our meeting, but we had to be mindful of the counselor and case worker’s time. Loved this girl and her parents. It was a beautiful thing to watch her parents interact with her. They are so supportive, and they love their daughter so much. They asked so many good questions, and we really all bonded. I cannot say much about the details, but maybe I can talk more about it if we move forward to the next step. We are waiting to hear if the birthmom would like to meet us face-to-face or if she has chosen the other couple. If we do meet again, it will be after Thanksgiving. Please pray for “C” and her parents as they make this decision. We have peace knowing that God already has our baby picked out for us. Now we continue this journey so that God can reveal which baby he has chosen. We are along for the ride. Of course, we want this to be our match, but we can rest in knowing that we do not have control, and that is A-ok with me. Perhaps the web conference was a way to protect our hearts. A meeting face-to-face would be difficult if not chosen. Perhaps this was the perfect avenue for the next steps. Who knows? All I know is that we prayed, and shared the gospel with her by talking about spiritual adoption. The birthmom was blown away by that “analogy” that God adopts us into his family if we believe AND God is the perfect father! Beautiful. I honestly have to say that I have so much peace. I am sleeping well, and I do not have anxiety over this. We did have to talk about our infertility journey with the birthmom since her big thing is finding a couple that cannot have children. Even talking through that whole deal, I can tell that I have come so far in this journey. We have been waiting over 6 ½ years, and so this “wait” is a piece of cake. We have this waiting thing down pat!
Well, drum roll please……….I had so much adrenaline pumping during our web conference because moments before, Adam received something in the mail that rocked our world! Adam was officially accepted into the MDiv (Masters of Divinity) program at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary in Charlotte! He will start his courses on-line in the spring semester, January. To all our church family, WE ARE NOT MOVING or going anywhere!  I wanted to quickly give you piece of mind in that regard!  He will only have to travel once or twice a month to Charlotte for some face-to-face instruction. I could not be more pleased, happy, overwhelmed, and proud of Adam! Here are a couple of pictures of him and his acceptance letter!……..Love his silly faces! (This was moments before we logged on to our web conference—-needless to say, we were pumped!!!!!) What a perfect night!!!!!

Adam officially accepted into Gordon-Conwell’s MDiv program!

Adam officially accepted to Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary

I officially moved into my new office and my new director role begins December 3rd.
Happy Thanksgiving to all. We are so thankful that God placed on our hearts a desire to adopt. I cannot wait to see what He is doing with this specific scenario. I am also beside myself with happiness for Adam and his opportunity to go to seminary.  If I were to tweet…….(but I don’t)….. #thankfulforGod’sperfectprovision

Rescheduled Birthmother Visit

We had to cancel, yet again, our face-to-face meeting with the birthmom on Wednesday morning of this week. After we cancelled on Wednesday (originally for Thursday), there was not another time that everyone could get together. So, the consolation prize will be a web conference meeting on Monday night at 8:00 pm. It is not ideal to be the second couple and not have the option of face-to-face, but God allowed me to get this nasty flu, and He has this in the palm of his hands. If the birthmom likes us after the web conference, we will set up a face-to-face meeting after the Thanksgiving break. I don’t really have feelings good or bad about this scenario. It is probably because I have been emotionally numb with all my sickness. We did find out today that our profile is on hold until this birthmom makes a decision. Pray for decisions to be made quickly and that the technology will work without issues.

Adam took me to the doctor on Monday morning, and I tested positive for the flu virus (“Strand A”) and they declared that I was the first positive flu test victim for this season in their office. I think I won the prize alright. Everyone in the office immediately went and put on masks. I have been quarantined since last Saturday. Thank goodness Adam took me to the doctor when he did so that I could start the Tamiflu as soon as possible.  It can make the difference between suffering for one week instead of two.  Praise the Lord that Adam did not get the flu. They started him on Tamiflu and antibiotics just in case. It really is a miracle that Adam did not get this. He has been sleeping in the basement since last Saturday. They loaded me up on drugs too. I am on an antibiotic, Tamiflu, cough syrup, loratab, and vitamins.

Pray for Adam as he preaches this Sunday. It is a big day in the life of our church in that members of the Greater Atlanta Presbytery will be coming by for “listening sessions” during our gracious separation time regarding leaving the PCUSA and joining ECO (Evangelical Covenant Order), Fellowship of Presbyterians. We do pray for our church during this time and do hope it will continue to be a gracious separation and God will be glorified with our actions, words, and prayers.

Also, today was a big day for me. I missed my boss’ retirement party (but recorded a 9 minute speech for him to listen to while I was out), and I received the official call last night after the school board meeting that I was approved to be the next director. It was a long process and it is bittersweet! I will miss my boss so much! I am so thankful for this opportunity to continue to serve and for the many emails, text messages and phone calls today! This gal feels special!
I have to take this opportunity to brag on my husband. He had NEVER seen me this sick. He put up with me being hot, then cold, then hot, then cold. So much fever! He put up with me crying in agony on two occasions. He went to the grocery store many times and always made sure I had liquids, medicine, and food. He was the best caregiver ever. I have to apologize to him for being difficult at times. The doctor’s visit day was the worst day ever. I told him to take me to the ER or take me out back and shoot me. He stayed with me all day Monday and Tuesday.  God bless this man for putting up with me AND for the beautiful flowers he gave me today to celebrate my job promotion. What a gem I have!!!!
Now, to find that web cam video player thingy for our Monday night web conference………

Happy Promotion Day!

Update from Adam

Well, God is in control. Jennifer got back from a work trip Friday afternoon late. She wasn’t feeling all that great, but went to bed hoping she would be fine in the morning. Saturday morning she woke up much worse. She was in the bed all day yesterday with a fever, migraine, body aches, cough, and a little nausea. Saturday morning, she started an antibiotic, thera-flu, and excedrin migraine. We were hoping that maybe she would feel better this morning, but she isn’t. I’ve just called the case worker in Alabama to let her know the situation and that we couldn’t make it today. She just texted me to say that we may be able to reschedule our meeting for Thursday, or possibly via Skype. Please pray for that, and that Jennifer will start feeling better. I’m not very good at playing doctor.

URGENT UPDATE (Stop, Bama Time)

We got a surprise phone call on Monday of this week that a birthmother had narrowed down her selection to two couples and wants to meet us IN PERSON this Sunday. Where you may ask?  Not in our state. Field trip time!   Our agency tracked me down at work because this gal missed several calls and emails that morning and they needed an answer from us, pronto. Of course, I scrambled to call Adam as soon as possible, and we said, “of course, we can be available.” Adam now has Sunday off from church, and I just got home from my conference. We did not even know that our profile had been shown (slight glitch in communication—but no complaints here).  You know what, I really love this random, out-of-the-blue phone call. What a beautiful surprise. Here are the details that I know so far…….
1) Birthmother “C” and Biological father “A” are 20 years old.
2) We will be meeting the birthmother, the biological father, and her parents on Sunday!!!
3) Our agency has assigned a case worker out-of-the-state of Alabama to meet us on Sunday.
4) We have to read over lots of paperwork and sign “stuff” before meeting face-to-face.
5) We will be meeting at 3:30 “Bama time” with our “stand-in” case worker and will ride with her to the meeting place for our scheduled 4:00 meeting…..this protects our identity with car tags and such.  (I would have never thought of that!)
6) The meeting place will be a church in the state of Alabama. (Love this—what better place to meet someone?)…We got the address today.  Sorry to be so vague, but I know you all understand.
7) We are in shock and VERY excited.
8) We know the gender and due date, but would like to keep that a surprise for now.
9) We need lots of prayer!!
10) God is always at work, even during the silent times. This really came as a shock to us.

It is good to be home…..

More later as the story unfolds……..

Love my man!